My Friend’s Husband Sent Her to the ER

A friend and I were making plans to get together.  It had been a while since we’d hung out, too long.  She crossed my mind and I thought it was odd that we hadn’t talked but she’s married and I’m single.  Sometimes I think married people do married people things that I may not understand.  I don’t know if that makes sense or is even true.  But as we were texting she told me to block her husband from my social media.  I didn’t ask any questions.  I just did it without hesitation.  That’s the kind of friendship we have.  She told me she would explain later over drinks.

A few days later I sat across from my friend as she was about to tell me about her abusive marriage.  She asked “Have you had a drink yet?”  After I took a sip of an extremely strong drink I made she proceeded to tell me about the abuse she’s been dealing with.

She and I haven’t been friends since high school or college but we have been friends for a few years.  I don’t trust people easily and neither does she, but she and I genuinely connected.  We don’t talk every day or even every week for that matter.  A month or longer can go by before we hear from each other but I still consider her a close friend.

couple-getting-marriedThe whole time I’ve known her she has been married; I met her when she was still a newlywed.  Over our strong drinks she was telling me that the entire marriage, our entire friendship, she was in an abusive marriage.  I was and still am in shock.

I know this man.  I’ve been to their house, met his family and friends, ate dinner with them.  And I never had any indication that they had issues, other than “normal” marriage issues.  And she hid it well.  She was and has always been pleasant to be around, was never sad or showed any sign that anything was wrong.  You would never know what she was battling with.

I learned that he has punched her in the face, hit her with objects, mushed her into a car window and broken countless pieces of furniture and items that belonged to her.  And this is only what she told me.  I know for a fact that there’s more.  The last straw was when she had to go to the ER and was out of work for 2 weeks.  They’re now separated and on the way to divorce.

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I. AM. PISSED. HURT. CONFUSED……so many other emotions going on inside of me.  During the altercation that sent her to the ER she said she didn’t even cry because she was fighting for her life.  She just needed to survive.  My heart broke into so many pieces especially when she showed me the picture of her in the ER.  She didn’t shed a tear while she told me all of this.  I was hurting because my friend was hurting but I didn’t shed a tear because I was in shock.  I felt like I was listening to someone on one of those true crime tv shows that I watch all the time.  She has been living in survival mode for years.  All I want to do is protect my friend from this man.  I want him to go away.  I feel helpless because the only protection I can offer her is prayer, which is what I’ve been doing nonstop.

This woman is no dumby.   I’ve seen her in action and she is about her business.  She is educated and intelligent.  But she married an abuser and protected him so well that no one, not even close friends and family, knew what was going on.

I’m glad that she left and  I know she’ll stay gone; I just want him to know that it’s over and move on.

Domestic violence is something that a lot of people don’t talk about, especially in the African American community.  This woman is black.  So is her husband.  I’m glad that she’s done protecting him, but who’s going to protect other women from him?  He has an adult daughter and 2 sisters, one of whom he’s gotten into fights with.  Are they safe?  He has held a pretty high position in the church.  THE CHURCH!!!!  He preaches God’s word and posts scriptures on social media every single day, but is a woman beater.

You never know what people are going through, regardless of how close you are.  Check on your family and friends.  Ask them if they’re ok or if they need anything.  Tell them you love them and most importantly pray for them.

 

I’m an Influenster Blogger!

Hey guys!  I’m so excited to now be an Influenster blogger.

For those of you not familiar with Influenster, it’s a program that allows consumers to test out new products from a variety of different areas, from food to cleaning/household items, makeup, etc.  When you sign up they’ll ask about what you’re interested in and that’s how they decide what products you could be sent to test out.  Influenster will also send you surveys about the products you use, which also helps them decide which products you’d be interested in and what would be best to send you in a Voxbox, which is the box with the free goodies.

In exchange for free products you do have to review the items on your social media channels.  The more followers you have via social media and blogs increases your chance of getting a Voxbox.

At first I was super skeptical because that’s just my  nature.  But I gave it a try about a month ago and just got my first Voxbox last week.  Of course my main interest is makeup and skin care.

So here’s a sneak peak of what I got:  3 full size products from Becca, a luxury makeup brand.  I’m still testing out the products.  Once I have a solid opinion I’ll post again.

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NOTE:  I did receive these items complimentary for the purpose of testing and reviewing them.

How Well Do You Clean Your Face?

Cleansing your face can seem like a chore, especially if you wear makeup.  But it’s a part of your hygiene so it needs to be done as thoroughly as your showers or bubble baths.  People tend to rush through cleansing their face, which leaves extra dirt and bacteria on the face.  That bacteria plus whatever is in the air (pollutants, irritants, pollen, etc.) can cause build up in your pores and lead to break outs.

A good way to tell if you’re cleansing your face properly is to use a toner after you cleanse.  If there is still quite a bit of dirt or makeup you’re not cleansing adequately.  Either your cleanser isn’t as effective as it needs to be or you didn’t do a good enough job cleansing your face.  In this case I have a few suggestions.

Micellar Water

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On a day when I don’t wear makeup I use micellar water as a pre-cleanse, then follow with my normal cleanser, toner, serums, moisturizer and eye cream.

Another good option is to use makeup wipes.  They’re portable so you can keep some in your car.  I keep makeup wipes upstairs in my bathroom and downstairs in my den for those late nights when I’m being super lazy on the couch.  I just reach in the side table and use them to cleanse my face.  You can also keep some in your night stand…..basically put them wherever is convenient and easy to get to.

Double Cleanse

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Sometimes my face just feels yucky.  If I’ve had a long day or after a workout when you can feel the extra dirt and germs you can always do a double cleanse, which is literally cleansing your face twice.  Once isn’t always enough.  I know it makes your routine longer but those extra 30 seconds can mean wonders for your skin.  Since I’ve started double cleansing and pre-cleansing I’ve noticed a big difference in my skin and have had a lot less breakouts.

Use a Sonic Brush

I am a huge fan of using sonic brushes to cleanse.  I don’t know how my skin survived mia-2_3-new-colourswithout one.  I’ve been using mine for about 5-6 years and it’s worth the investment.  There are low cost options like the Olay Spin Brush.  I did try that one and wasn’t a big fan of it because it actually spins.  The brushes that use sonic technology do a better job of exfoliating and cleansing.  The sonic brushes I’ve used and like are the Clarisonic, Clinique Somanual-facial-brushnic Brush, and the Micheal Todd Spin Brush.
These brushes can be a little pricey (usually close to $100). Even though it is an investment a lot of people don’t want to pay that much money.  There are alternatives. Manual brushes (pictured to the left) are very inexpensive.  I see them at the Dollar Tree all the time.  That works better than your hands, so that may be a good place to start if you’re skeptical.

Let me know if you use any of these tips and how they work for you.

Don’t forget to share, like, and comment!

 

Please Leave this Sh!+ in 2016

So I’m a few days late but…..HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  I hope you enjoyed your holidays.

Now that we’re in a new year, everyone is working on being a new person and creating new and better habits.  There are always things and people that get left behind and don’t make it to the new year.  Here’s a list of stuff I really want everyone to leave in 2016.

1. Overly done eyebrows

Eyebrows have been a huge facial focus the past few years.  In the last couple of years specifically people have gone overboard to create the “perfect” eyebrow.  There are so many different brow products.  There are brow powders, brow gels, brow cremes, brow pencils, and the list goes on.  There’s nothing wrong with filling in your brows but I’d like to see more natural looking brows going forward.
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Instagram has everyone thinking they’re a makeup artist or guru and eyebrows have been a victim.  Instagram brows don’t look bad per se; they’re just very sculpted and perfected.  There’s nothing natural looking about them & they’re obviously filled in.  In 2017 I’d like to see a more natural looking brow.
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This is a great example of natural looking brows.  They are filled in but it still looks like hair.

2. Faux frecklesscreen-shot-2017-01-14-at-3-50-33-pm

I have no idea why the hell anyone not born with freckles would want faux freckles. I understand you want what you can’t or don’t have, but come on now! They just look stupid. I have natural freckles. When I wear makeup they vet covered up & I could care less. Faux freckles look diseased me. I just no likey.
I have no idea why anyone would want to look like this & think it’s a good look.  #confused

3.  No Originality in Makeup

Everybody wants to look like Kim K. apparently….except for me.  With all the access to tutorials so many women (and some men) seem to think that they have to highlight, contour, conceal, and do a million steps to apply makeup.  You really don’t.  There’s nothing wrong with getting glammed up but it’s time consuming and not always necessary.  I’m a makeup artist and I don’t wear makeup everyday.  When I’m working in my office job during the day I have on no makeup at all.  I usually wear it if I go out and on the weekends.
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And, not everyone needs to highlight and contour.  It’s all about lighting & face and bone structure.  If you have a naturally slim face you really don’t need to contour.  Even if you contour, you may not need to contour your cheeks, nose, jaw, and chin.  People have gotten used to applying makeup the way they see other people do it.  Learn how to apply it properly to compliment your face shape and your features.

4.  Using random tools to apply makeup

Ever since the beauty blender came out every makeup company has come up with different tools to apply makeup.  I refuse to spend $20 on that sponge; I don’t care who says how good it is.  It’s a sponge!!!  People are drinking the kook-aid for all these gimmicky makeup tools when it’s not necessary.  Give me a good set of makeup brushes and I’m good.  As for sponges, take your ass to the Dollar Tree and get a bag of disposable sponges and call it a day!
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These Artis brushes were really big in 2016.  One brush retails for close to $50…..yeah right.  I can get a whole set of good quality brushes for that price.  I say don’t try to reinvent the wheel.  Stick to what you know and what has always worked.  These brushes are so dense they absorb too much product.
The one that I think is the most ridiculous is the Silisponge.  It’s not a sponge but is used like one. It’s made of silicone and is used to apply liquid products to the face.  The idea is that it doesn’t absorb product (so you use less of it) and is easier to clean.  I’ve never tried it but I don’t want to.  Sponges really don’t apply much product.  This “sponge” is $10-12 and has sold out several times…..no gracias.  Some people just like to try new things because it’s new.  I’m the opposite; I’m always extra critical of new things.

5.  Using utensils to contour

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For some reason in 2016 people wanted to incorporate using utensils in makeup, mainly spoons and knives……what the hell?????  I don’t know where it came from but if you need a spook or knife as a guide by all means.  I’ll stick to eating with my utensils.

6.  Not taking care of your skin

I’m an Esthetician so obviously I’m passionate about skin care.  You don’t have to have a million products  or have a fancy regimen but please at least cleanse and moisturize your face twice a day.  I’ve talked to so many clients who only cleanse once a day or “cleanse” with only water (which doesn’t cleanse a damn thing), or claim to not have time for  a skin care regimen.  People make it so hard when it’s not.  Cleansing and caring for your skin falls in the same category as washing your ass.  Hopefully you do that; skin care is a part of hygiene too.  So in 2017 I hope people can have better hygiene and care for themselves better.

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I hope you guys enjoyed today’s post!  What are some of the things you’re leaving in 2016?  Let’s talk!
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